Confidence: A Fragile Commodity

Confidence is a fragile commodity. We all need it. Sometimes we have it, sometimes we lose it. Some people appear to have too much of it and others not enough. And why is it that at the critical moment it seems to go missing? It does not matter what you are striving to achieve if you do not have confidence in your ability to succeed you might as well go home. On the other hand if you are overconfident you may be, as they say, riding for a fall!

Riding a horse is something that requires real confidence. After all it involves a large animal with a mind of its’ own. It is all very well to say that golfers or tennis players require confidence. They do, but their golf club or their tennis racquet is never going to spook at the ball.  As a rider I must be confident that I can stay on my horse and not fall off and get hurt. I must be confident that I know how to ride well enough  to give the horse the right aids so he will know what I want him to do.  Above all, I must have confidence so that my horse can have confidence in me.

I have met riders who are not confident about their ability as riders due to a previous accident or mishap that has left them nervous. Or they may have had bad instruction. A bad coach can seriously undermine the confidence of a student rider. I am sorry to say there are coaches out there who seem to do this on purpose.  I’m not a psychotherapist so I cannot tell you why they do this; power, control, ego…who knows?  But once confidence is gone the rider’s ability to ride suffers dramatically. In the case of a fall or injury the rider can regain it by riding a calm horse and over time regaining their ‘nerve’..  If the rider has lost it  due to an abusive coach then that is damage that may take a long time to repair.

Confidence can be difficult to maintain when faced with the  big challenges. But if you know you are ready for a challenge and you trust in your preparation and training you can take on the challenge and succeed. The Puissance wall must seem daunting as the rider comes up to 7 feet of wall. But with the right approach the well trained horse and rider can sail over the top and land safely. I think this is an analogy for many of the challenges we face in life.

3-img_15424-img_15435-img_15446-img_1545

We live in an “easy everything” culture but as sport psychologist Dirk Stroda says: “confidence does not come in a pill.”  We must  take time and work at it.

“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.”

― Mahatma Gandhi

 

 

7 Comments Add yours

  1. Fully agree on confidence shattering trainers. I’ve met some, and I can’t figure out why they’ve stuck with their profession, since they clearly dislike teaching and are out to pick apart their students, not build them up.

    Like

  2. I so much enjoyed reading this. Definitely needs confidence to ride a horse and can be mastered with time. Goes well with anything we think is impossible. Good read.. 🙂

    Like

    1. anne leueen says:

      Yes it can apply to many of our endeavors in life. Thanks for stopping by!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I agree, learning to ride many years ago gave me great confidence as a child. From that point on I knew I could do anything I set my mind to. It has been borne out over the years and I continue enjoy riding!

    Like

    1. anne leueen says:

      So glad to hear you enjoy riding. It is a wonderful thing to start as a child. Thanks for stopping by my blog.

      Like

  4. nathaswami says:

    It is a booster dose for me.

    Liked by 1 person

I'd love to hear from you!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s