“I quit!” Is something I have rarely, if ever, said. It implies to me a person has reached a stage of desperation, has thrown their hands up and in a fit of anger or despair has simply ‘walked out’ of a situation, relationship, or job. Invariably ‘quitting’ has a negative connotation. We are supposed to pull up our boot laces and carry on carrying on. But perhaps that is an outdated modus operandi. Although I would not say I was a ‘quitter’ I have certainly made decisions to change direction.
Changing direction implies that I knew what direction I was headed in. Then after considering the eventual destination and deciding that the cost of following that path is too high, too complicated or too injurious to me personally, I choose to stop following that path and take a new path. A change of direction.
Recently I made two changes of direction.
Decision #1 I had made plans to enter a horse show that was taking place this past weekend. I had been away at the World Equestrian Games and had not been riding. But I thought I had time to get back on track. I had been running on adrenaline at WEG; up before dawn, buzzing about at WEG during the day, editing photos and posting blog posts till late. I was on a real high with the whole thing. I drove home, a two day drive,and was still feeling pretty pumped! I was like a cartoon character with my legs going so fast they were spinning.
When you are pushing up to 70 years of age you do need to rest up a bit after that. That was reason #1 for deciding not to do the show. Reason #2….a family member has been going through some health concerns and this has been very much at the forefront of my mind. My full focus could not be on a horse show at this time.
So I decided not to go to the show. Was this quitting? I don’t think so as it was thought out and a decision was made weighing up my circumstances at the time.
Decision #2. About three years ago the FEI introduced an Adult Amateur division in the CDI (Concours Dressage International). I put the idea of competing at a CDI in the Small Tour (Prix. St. George and Intermediare 1 tests) with Biasini, on my bucket list back burner.
Last winter, my Florida coach Lou Denizard, suggested that in 2019 I could do the CDI during the winter season. That brought the idea off the back burner and onto the front burner.
Problem #1. I had to renew Biasini’s FEI passport. I started the process last week. Some 12 emails to my national federation later I found that this is complicated and expensive. The total cost of re-validating the passport and getting the membership to allow me to compete in a CDI was going to top $1000. That’s a lot if I’m not even certain I’ll do a CDI.
Problem #2 To ride a horse like Biasini, at the small tour level, I have to save my energy. I would need someone to help me with the horse care and stall cleaning etc. On top of that I stay an hour’s drive away from the show grounds. That’s no problem if I am only there for 2 1/2 days but for a CDI it would be 5 days. That is another matter.
I tallied all this up in my mind. It just did not make sense to pursue this. So I decided to make a “change of direction”. I would not stay on the CDI path and would follow my old path of doing some National shows and just showing over two days. Better for me and I think better for Biasini.